Toby Kebbell

Fant 4 Stick

Let’s preference this by saying I was excited for this film. Regardless of all the bad press, and stories from the set. Despite the press and their hatred for it, I was giving it the benefit of the doubt. Everything about it, screams amazing. Josh Trank the director of Chronicle. Written by Simon Kinberg, the writer of X-Men Days of Future Past. The amazing talents that are Miles Teller, Kate Mara, Michael B. Jordan, Jaime Bell, and Toby Kebbell. It screams awesome. Well. It wasn’t.

Fantastic Four tells the story, somewhat, of 5 kids whose lives are all change once they help crack the code of inter-dimensional travel. Well that’s about it for the plot. The film is not the pile of shit you are hearing about. For the most part. In this golden age of comic book movies, this one kind of takes todays Dark Knight Tone, and makes a movie with it from back in the late 90s/early 2000s. There is no character development whatsoever for any character in this movie. Plus the chemistry is all but nonexistent between these four. The story is jumbled, and the editing is all over the place.

Not to mention, nothing happens in this movie. Aside from one extra action scene, you have seen every single action scene in the film, in its trailers. So don’t expect a lot more. Plus don’t expect to see a lot of the cool scenes you saw in the trailers. They aren’t there. Like the scene of The Thing being dropped out of a plane into what looks like a warzone. Not in the movie. Now the film can almost be broken into 3 completely separate films. So I’m going to talk about the three acts separately.

Act 1 brings our heroes, and villain, together. They learn from each other and build this crazy machine that somehow Reed Richards (Teller) figured out how to do as a child, but the government could never do without him. It has a working montage and is your basic origin story, but it’s kind of interesting. It has its choppy weak dialog, and bad editing, but for the most part keeps you intrigued on where it will be going. Immediately you pick up Why Victor Von Doom is the bad guy. Because he is a dick. So that equals bad guy. Lazy writing. Plus that whole “you created me I created you” story of let’s make all the heroes and bad guys have a background together. I’m starting to hate that.

Act two kind of becomes the horror/sci-fi epic you want. For a split second. Then have a lot of plot holes that make no sense. You time jump, you wondering what the hell happened to certain characters, and then they are all brought back together and don’t like each other. Same old crap you’ve seen before. The idea behind this story is very fun, and you want to watch it, but the execution is not its best. It’s very basic. After some pretty cool sequences we are violently thrust into the third act. This is where it really gets bad.

Act three is simple formulaic let’s have a big showdown. Care about people, we are a team now. Movies over. That’s it. Nothing happens. You aren’t invested in it, it’s a big cgi green screen scene that makes no sense, with Dr. Doom showing back up, and having a motive that also makes no damn sense. It’s a complete and utter mess at this point. What started as an ok attempt, and took you on a roller coaster of good and bad story telling flies off the rails and kills you.

If you take out the Fantastic Four, and make this some random sci-fi film, it’s pretty decent. You can really enjoy it. But because we have been given the level of superhero films that we have, this one falls incredibly short. It is not the worst one you have ever seen, but it is closer to the bottom then it is the top. And not only does Thing not have pants, he has a butt crack. That makes no sense. At all. It’s really weird! Anyway, I’m giving it a Jeebus Score of 2.5. Not the best way to end the summer, go see Rogue Nation guys.

Alright Jackass Nation. What say you, have you seen Fantastic Four, will you see it? Let me know what you think of it, sound off in the comments below, and as always, keep on nerding!

The Jeebus Score explained

The Jeebus score is out of a possible 6 points. Films are giving a max of 1 point each for Acting, Entertainment, and Casting, and a max of .5 for Dialog, Cinematography, and Direction. There is also a possible bonus up to .5. Any film between 2.5 and 4 is considered a good film. 4-5 is a great film. Anything over 5 is an incredibly amazing film. To get a perfect score of 6 a film will pretty much have to be The Empire Strikes Back or The Godfather.

Apes on Horses!

APES ON HORSES! As the gentlemen over at Schmoes Know have affectionately named the newest installment in the long lived Planet of the Apes Franchise. The much anticipated sequel to 2011’s Planet of the Apes reboot, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. This film has been one of the top films I have been looking forward to this year. Rise was such a surprise and phenomenal film Dawn had a lot to live up too. Needless to say, not only doe Dawn live up to its predecessor, it may even surpass it.

For 10 years what has been known as the Simian Flu has plagued the world. The survivors that still do what they can to combat the virus, have come to a thin line of peace with the genetically evolved primates led by Caesar. Caesar who still has a soft spot for humans due to his upbringing. The peace as thought proves to be too fragile to keep and war breaks out to determine who will survive as Earths dominate species. Man, or Ape.

The film stars Andy Serkis in the role as Caesar, and as Serkis has become the king of motion capture in film, this is no exception. Alongside Serkis are Jason Clarke, Gary Oldman, Keri Russell, Toby Kebbell, Judy Greer, and, Kodi Smit-McPhee. Dawn is written once again by Amanda Silver, Rick Jaffa, and joining them is Mark Bomback. This go around Matt Reeves takes up the director’s chair.

Everything about Dawn is incredible. The script is nearly perfect. Every time you think you know where the story is going, there is a turn you don’t see coming. It is almost predictable. Watching the film I saw where it was going and said to myself “ok here is the story, got it, pretty cool….. Oh wait no” and that happened numerous times! The Story is not complex, but it is deep. It shows what can be wrong with society, and how bad things can turn quickly.

The Apes have built up their community, and are living in their society and you sit there in awe of what the film makers were able to do. You believe in the trust and strength within the Ape community. And each Ape has their own personality, the actors behind the Motion Capture do a wonderful job.

Speaking of Mo-Cap. I find it would be incredibly disrespectful not to mention how Andy Serkis deserves a freaking Oscar nomination. He brings Caesar to life. You see Serkis behind the eyes of Caesar. You see him in his movements. This isn’t some CGI monkey. Caesar is Serkis. And he is just perfect in the role. You feel for him, you care about him. When he is off screen, you notice he is not there. Not that the film is lacking anything when he is gone, but at the same time, you wait and are ready for what Serkis brings to film.

As Rise was in fact James Franco’s movie, stolen by Serkis’ Caesar, Dawn is Caesar’s film, Stolen by Kebbell and his portrayal of Koba. You remember Koba, he was the bad mother F’er that showed up in Rise knowing the drill in labs. He is Caesar’s right hand Ape, yet is not afraid to tell Caesar when he is wrong. Even with all the power Caesar holds over the Apes, Koba will let him know what is up, but is quick to back down to place. And Kebbell is instrumental in bringing Koba to life. What Serkis has done to Caesar, Kebbell is doing with Koba.

When it all comes down, I ranked Dawn of the Planet of the Apes pretty high. I gave it a 5.6, with a full bonus of .5 for APES ON HORSES! That rounds the score out to 6.1, our second JEEBUS-TACULAR of the year!