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The Jeebus Awards

The second annual Jeebus Awards are here to honor the films of 2016! The nominees and winners are all picked by The Jersey Jackass BC, and brought to you in epic form! With special presentations by Kingsman Michael Shafer, Kenny STeel and Jon Famous, Good Ol’ Phil Woodyard, MPX General Manager Nigel Rabid, Donald Glover, Tha Mad Zak, the crew of SCNS Live, DJ BenTendo, Tekforce, Tony Moro, Trey Mack, Livi La Vida Loca, and Chris Lemchi. With musical performances by The Rock, Ryan Gosleing and Emma Stone, and Auli’i Cravalho. SO enjoy the Jeebus Awards.

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BC’s 2013 Movie Awards, Part 1

ImageI was told that the average movie goer sees 8 to 10 movies a year. Which is why the Oscars aren’t viewer’s choice. There’s a panel of critics and writers that see nearly every film that is released. So what qualifies me to write a blog on what I feel are the best films of the year? Well if the average movie goer sees 8 to 10 films, I saw at least 5 times that in 2013. Nothing special, but maybe enough to form an opinion on a wide range. 63 of the movies released in 2013 was my final count. Technically 64, but all though Lone Survivor played somewhere one day in 2013, I didn’t see it until 2014 so I’m not counting it. What I will be taking into consideration are: World War Z, Man Of Steel, Furious 6, The Lone Ranger, Pacific Rim, Iron Man 3, Spring Breakers, Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters, Gangster Squad, The Hangover Part III, Star Trek into the Darkness, Evil Dead, Elysium, 2 Guns, Paranoia, Jobs, Kick-Ass 2, Mud, 21 & Over, A Good Day To Die hard, Getaway, Don Jon, Bullet To The Head, Prisoners, Gravity, Bling Ring, Curse Of Chucky, Runner Runner, Captain Phillips, Rush, Escape Plan, Kevin Hart Let Me Explain, Bad Grandpa, Last Vegas, Enders game, The Counselor, Carrie, Thor 2 the Dark World, Olympus Has Fallen, White House Down, Last Stand, Delivery Man, Hunger Games Catching Fire, Grown Ups 2, The Heat, The Internship, Home Front, Out Of the Furnace, Anchorman 2, American hustle, Movie 43, Grudge Match, Machete Kills, 47 Ronin, Wolf Of Wall Street, Saving Mr. Banks, Hobbit The Desolation Of Smaug, 12 years a slave, and Mandela Along Walk To freedom. So that’s the pool, 63 films. I missed a few. I would have liked to have seen Dallas buyers’ Club, Parkland, Secret Life of Walter itty, and a few others, But, Sadly I didn’t have the time. Categories I will be awarding in are Best Movie, Best Comedy, best Action, Best Horror, Biggest Let Down, Best Actor, best Actress, Best Supporting Actor, Best Supporting Actress, Best fight, Best Soundtrack, Who Cares of the Year, Feel Good Film Of the Year, Crazy Bitch award, Viewer’s Choice, and Who The Oscar should go to(Which I look at differently than Best Film) So, Not that anyone cares to hear my opinion, I feel the need to say it anyway, maybe 1 or 2 of you will be entertained. And keep in mind, this is really just my opinion. Nothing more than the views on some movies by a film fan. So, that said, let’s get into it!

First we will look at Best Comedy of the year. Now I based these honestly on what movies truly kept me laughing all movie long. To the point that my face hurt when I left the theaters. And there were some good ones. The nominees are, Anchorman 2, This Is the End, Bad Grandpa, Kevin Hart: Let My Explain, and The Heat. All incredible movies. And I have to say the heat was a sleeper pick to get in. Because I didn’t think it looked good. It looked generic and not worth me wasting money, so I waited until it was on Redbox to see, and my oh my, it was hilarious. The interaction between Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy was classic! They played off each so well! Plus I am a huge Bill Burr fan so his little cameo was awesome! This Is the End I saw multiple times. These guys killed it! Not the best job from Jonah hill, but I think we expect more from him now that he’s an academy award winner. But James Franco killed it, Seth Rogan was on par, the story was entertaining, and of Corse, EMMA ROBERTS stealing the show! I was not a fan or really knew much about her since I never got into Harry Potter, but she won me over! Bad Grandpa was incredible, Johnny Knoxville was back on his A game, the kid, Jackson Nicoll, I don’t know how he kept it together during all those pranks, he has some real talent. My only issue is 80% of the pranks, almost in the entirety, were on the trailers. And the entire finish to the film, the big pay off, was also in the trailer. Kevin Hart is always a killer. He gets my every time. Whether it’s his stand up, or his films. His comedy just seems to hit home, and Let Me Explain, is on par. It is definitely another step up after his last outing in laugh At My Pain. He dropped the little sketches in this one which really made me happy because I felt those were the weak parts of Laugh at My Pain. Now, full discloser, I did not watch the first Anchorman, until the day before I went to see Anchorman 2. And I was not impressed. I barely laughed in it. So I was worried going into Anchorman 2. However, it worked this go around for me. I loved it, the cameos, the over the top comedy, everything had me in stiches watching it. So who takes? All great movies, all hilarious, but in my opinion, the award goes to, this is The End. And rightfully so. The story was on par, the comedy was great, and come on, The Backstreet Boys were in it!

Next up we will go with the Best Action of the year. I love a good action flick. My favorite films are honesty super hero/comic book movies, which I just you average action flick on steroids! So the nominees for best action are, Pacific Rim, Iron Man 3, Star Trek into the Darkness, Man of Steel and Furious 6. Pacific Rim, there’s not much you can say other than HOLY CRAP THAT WAS AWESOME! It’s just an action packed adventure. Giant alien monsters vs. giant robots!? It doesn’t get better then that! Plus the giant robot picks up a tanker, and uses it like a baseball bat to beat the alien monster! Then we have Furious 6, jam packed with unbelievable car stuns, explosions and action. Let’s face it, it’s what drives this franchise (pun intended) Iron Man 3, a movie that actually really disappointed me, actually ended up not skimping out on the action in its finale. By far the best final fight scene of all the Iron Man films, even if we didn’t really ever get to see the potential of the awesome cameo suits. Star Trek as well was a surprise to me. Marketing was very off when this film was released and I was actually not looking forward to it. But after seeing it I was very surprised. It kept me on the edge of my seat with intense action sequences. And Man Of Steel. I mean, did you see that thing, not only did they destroy Krypton in a 45 minute fight to start out the film, but they went on to exploding oil rigs, destroying sears and IHOP, and then the entire Metropolis! I mean that final fight between Zod and Kal El was intense, it hurt to watch when they slammed in and out of buildings like that! Every punch was thrown with such force as a movie goer you felt it! It was like being in the audience of the UFC title fight! But bigger! But when it comes down to it the award goes to, Man of Steel! Of Corse we are going to Man of Steel, it was literally 2 hours and 20 minutes of action! Even the down time, was still pretty action like, well not really, but you get my drift.

For me best Horror is kind of one sided. I hate horror movies starring children, they scare me. And I’m sick of found footage exorcist films. And I missed The Purge, The Conjuring, Insidious Chapter II, and Who’s Next. SO the nominees are few, and they are, Evil Dead, Curse of Chucky, and Carrie. Carrie was really good. I walked out of The Counselor and sat down to watch Carrie, and I loved it. Chloe Grace Moretz. She was amazing in it, and Julianna Moore was crazy as all hell! My only issue with the film, is when you look at the remakes of Chainsaw, Nightmare, Halloween, and Friday, all though you knew the story, you didn’t quite know where it was going to go. With Carrie, it seemed very predictable. Curse of Chucky is hands down finally a step in the right direction of this franchise. I liked Bride of Chucky and Seed of Chucky, they were humorous, but Curse of Chucky took it back to the Childs lay 1 & 2 feel. But hands down, out of these nominees, Evil Dead takes the cake. It was every bit as gruesome and horrifying as we were promised from Bruce Cambell and Sam Raimi. I am excited for where this franchise goes from here!

Every year there are a few movies that you watch and they just make you happy and want to hang out with friends and family. Not in an “I’m lucky to have you” kind of way, but in a, “I’m in the Mood to make memories” kind of way. These are the nominees for Feel Good Film of the Year.  Grown Ups 2, the Internship, and Last Vegas. Honorable mention with go to Delivery Man. I know I know, The Internship was just a big ad for Google and not the follow up to Wedding Crashers we all expected and wanted. Well if you could look past that, and accept that this was a PG13 film, you might have had a little fun with it. I know I did. It’s nothing new. Underdog outcast team bands together to beat the number 1 squad. Same ole song and dance. But the dynamics between the cast were just fun to watch. And regardless that Vince Vaughn plays Vince Vaughn in every movie, I will always enjoy that character. Last Vegas, a stellar cast, with the simple story of reuniting, burying the hatchet and Vegas. It just made me want to fast forward to my twilight years ago with my friends out for a weekend on the town. Plus Turtle was in it. HashtagEntourage. Grown Ups 2, I know you hated it. 80% of people hated it. 19% refused to see it. But I am in the 1% that was entertained by the complete lack of plot, character development, or overall effort into making a film. But I tell you this, when it was over, I wanted to throw a kickass 80s party. And the winner is, Last Vegas. You haven’t seen it, grab some buds, and take a night to enjoy it.

A few quick and easy awards, we’ll start with the MTV like  award of Crazy Bitch of the Year. Our two nominees, Julianne Moore from Carrie, and Scarlett Johansson from Don Jon. Scar Jo, you might ask me, why is she crazy? Come on, look at that character, she was crazy as hell! The movie is marketed as the rom com between her character and JGLs, but turns out, she is kind of a little insane! The way she tries to control him, and he arguments. It’s just nuts, from a guy’s perspective at least. But not as nuts as Julianne Moore in Carrie. This chick was just creepy, and loco from the get go! It’s no wonder Carrie was so screwed up! Every year, movies get cancelled and not released and some moronic film comes out that no one goes to see. This we call the Who Cares of the Year. Nominees are, After Earth, and Paranoia. What to say about After Earth. They did a great job hiding that it was a M. Night Shyamalan film. You didn’t see his name at all during the marketing campaign. It wasn’t until the movie started and up roles ”A film by M. Night Shyamalan” that people realized, and by then they were already screwed. And Paranoia, had a great cast. Han Solo and Commissioner Gordon, with Thors little brother in the middle, and Amber Heard. But, no one cared. Most people still haven’t even heard of it. Which makes it our winner of the Who Cares of the Year. At least people saw After Earth and know that it sucked. Best Soundtrack, and I will say soundtrack rather than score, because I don’t really have the experience to talk score, just yet. So Soundtrack nominees are Furious 6 and Kick-Ass 2. Furious 6 gets the nod on 2 Chains’’ We Own It. The Fast & Furious franchise is known for its cars, but every film gives us at least one hit song that jams. And Kick-Ass 2, I love the main theme, it’s on my workout playlist, and even an alarm on my phone. And the award goes to, Furious 6. We Own It, Rest of My Life by Ludacris featuring Usher, Bandoleros by Don Omar and Tego Calderon, and many more. It is just a great soundtrack with some good jams.

Biggest Let Down of the Year. The Nominees are, After Earth, The Conselor, Paranioa, Gangster Squad, and A Good DayTo Die Hard. To be a true let down, I have looked for movies I was initially very excited for. We’ll look at A good day to die hard. How hard is it to not screw up Die hard?! ITS FREAKING DIE HARD! One of my favorite franchises of all time! DIE HARD! And Yet Bruce Willis phoned it in and we were given not even a decentgeneric action flick. A plot hole filled weak film. And Paranioa, two more phoned in performances, this time by the great Harrison Ford and Gary Oldman. Thors little brother was decent enough, but not really someone you want in a lead role. Gangster Squad is hard to explain why it let me down. It was just a weak story. And Ryan Gosslings character was annoying as hell. Not much I can say about The COunsalor, I walked out and hour into it. Stale and insanely borng. And After Earth, wow. Once again, it ened up being a film where the director,takes all the charisma and likeability out of will Smith, andthen tries to force us to like his son. Who was a whiny little kid all film long. So what was the Biggest Let Down? I got to give it to A Good Day To Die Hard. I mean I was really excited, as I always am, for the next installment of Die Hard, but I was a given crap. Hopefully the alleged Die Hardest will bring us back to the top.

Part 2 of my 2013 movie awards will debut tomorrow before the Oscars go live.