Megan Fox

Go Ninja Go Ninja Go!

After numerous animated series’, and a very successful film series from the 90’s the Turtles are back on the big screen! I have been looking forward to this film for a while. Unlike most people, I am a Michael Bay fan. However I also realized, unlike most people, this was a Bay film in Production only! He was not the director. TMNT is directed by Jonathan Lieberman, and stars the likes of Megan Fox, Johnny Knoxville, Tony Shalhoub, Will Arnett, and William Fichtner allegedly as Shredder. This movie had a lot to overcome. The stink of Bay’s most recent Transformers installment, the rumors of the changes to the back story, and the fact that Fichtner was playing Shredder. Serially. A white guy as Shredder, the ancient Japanese Samurai. What the hell. However. I wanted to give it a shot. And hope for the best. So lets dissect it a little bit.

First off, minor spoiler, so skip the next few sentences if you haven’t read the actually casting list. Fichtner, is not the Shredder. So rest assured. Shredder, is played by Tohosu Masamune. And he is decent enough. The problem isn’t the actors. The problem lies in the script. There are some pretty bad problems with the script. From dialog set up choppy, to just flat-out dumb direction. There’s a scene where Megan Fox’s April O’Neil is sneaking around hiding behind pillars glaring out like a 1st grader playing hide and seek. It’s just cheesy. As well Shredder is given no substance. Fichtner was given no substance. They are basically mustache twirling bad guys, who are nada because, movies need bad guys. Arnett who I am a fan off, and I am going to steal this from Kristian Harloff over at, did nothing more than a bad Michael Keaton impersonation the entire film. The role wasn’t horrible, and he made for some fun times to watch. But again, a real lack of substance

Another problem I had been a few of the voices. Splinter was voiced by Tony Shalhoub. And there are times that you a definitely aware that you are listening to Monk be an Asian Master Rat. It is a little off. As well I was deafeningly aware that the Jackass himself Johnny Knoxville playing leader of the gang. And it can honestly take you out of the film sometimes. I am not one of those people who only see the big star when the star shows up. But these voices just didn’t fit for me.

As well the finale scene, is kind of a TASM2 rip off. Plus, damn, how many movies are going to make New York look dumb as hell. When a building is falling, bystanders shouldn’t be standing around watching. GET OUT! But then from the tower falling to the New Yorker’s, its bluntly a Spider-Man Rip off.

But it is not all bad. There are great things to it. Starting with Megan Fox. I know, everyone always wants to hate on Fox. But other then some stupid direction, and dumb plot points, she isn’t horrible in it. She’s actually fun to watch. And in the one major Bayism in the film, where it focuses on the humans not the Turtles, Fox’s April O’Neil is a good character to focus on. She’s fun, she’s functional, and she’s not the damsel n distress. As well Mike, Donnie, and Ralph are great. You don’t get enough interaction between them, but when you do, man o man is it fun. They did a good job in mixing the feel and fun of Turtles that we know, with the original dark intent that the writers had for the Turtles.

A plus, that I almost gave the film a bonus for was the character of Splinter. While the voice was off for me, there is apart of me, and probably all of us, I have wanted to see Splinter go off and kick some serious foot. And we get that, this Splinter is a focused and talented ninja. And it is awesome. When I came around to scoring it , while I had fun, I couldn’t quite in all good faith get it to a Good Time, so I’m going 3.7, Check out the Matinee.

This Week in Movie News

Once again I am a little late, I apologies, I was in New Orleans for WrestleMania this weekend. Perhaps one day I’ll step the game up and be on time. Anyway, let’s get right into this week in Movie news, we will start with the epicness that was the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles trailer! I’ve been a hesitant about this one since day one. Not because of Michael Bay, or even Megan Fox. Truth is I love Bay films. How can you not? Bad Boys? The Rock? Transformers? Pain & Gain? Purge? Trust in Bay, yes there’s a lot of explosions, but hello, explosions are cool. And is Megan Fox a little one dimensional? Yes she is. But honestly, I’m not looking for the Ninja Turtles to be an academy award winning acting. Fox is hot. I’ll take her as O’Neil. My issue, was the changes in back story. The Alien turtles? No, wrong, The Ooze created the turtles. So that has been my quarrel. But this trailer, has got me excited. The Shredder voiceover is cool. Does it show us that the back story has changed a bit? Yes, there is no Professor Perry with TGRI that made the Ooze, but we do get a shot of what looks to be the Ooze. And so you change Professor Perry to Shredder and April O’Neil’s father. Still on board. The action looks big and fun, the foot look cool, despite not being ninjas. And the turtles look menacing. It looks as if it will be a good blend of Old school turtles, the badass vulgar comics, and the kowabunga pizza eating turtles everyone has come to know and love. SO the trailer looks good. What now has me back on the skeptical side, is the addition of voices, Knoxville and Shalhoub as Leonardo and Splinter respectively. Perhaps I’m looking too much into it. But Leo and Splinter as the leaders in most the understandings of the Turtles, these voices don’t make me think leader. They are a little more on the comical side of voices. So again, I am very skeptical.

Next up, looks like FroZone will be making a return in The Incredibles 2. Well, possibly. Seems Samuel L has been teasing his return, I expect that he will be there. He is an important character in that universe. Jackson said “Every time I run into Brad (Bird) he always tells me FroZone is going to be a part of whatever’s going on, so I have to believe that, I guess they would be the Incredibles without FroZone, but I think FroZone would be a wonderful, wonderful addition to what’s already there. I’m just looking forward to seeing what Jack-Jack turned into.” Like I said, just a tease, but sounds like they want him back, and he wants back so I have to believe he will be involved in some capacity.

Toby Kebbell has been cast as Dr. Doom. Who? Yea that’s what I said. I have not seen a single film of this kids. But he has some stuff coming up. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, and Warcraft. On top of The Fantastic Four. These are big projects. Despite my feelings toward the Fantastic Four babies, this is the movie that will partake in the X-Men shared universe. Dr. Doom is a big key component. I wasn’t in the casting room, I don’t know the scripts going forward. But from an outsider’s point of view, I will remain skeptical of this film. Nothing they have done, including Mr. Cabell’s casting, has given me a reason to trust in them. Hopefully, I am wrong, and they really do know what they are doing.

Fast 7 has resumed filming. After the tragic and sudden death of Paul Walker production ceased. Understandably. Mourning had to take place, plus a plan of action had to be developed. And a plan seems to have been put in place. From what I can tell they have decided to use CGI and body doubles to replace Paul Walker, and script changes to retire the character. Which I like. Honestly, as cold as it would seem, I would like to see Brian O’Connor go out in the blaze of glory. But, retiring to the family life, well, that a pretty acceptable substitute for the actor. I look forward to Fast 7 with much enthusiasm.

Recently Kevin Fiege made an announcement that their “Marvel Map” looks to schedule films running into 2028. Is this big news? Not really. Sure it sounds exciting and amazing, but let’s look at this. Marvel knows what they are doing, they have their plans. All of these plans can be scrapped at a moment’s notice. An actor falls out, contracts don’t work out. It would definitely take more than 1 bombed film, but films could bomb. I wouldn’t look too much into this. I honestly wouldn’t look much further then Avengers 3 right now. We shall see what happens as time rolls on.

Looks like Star Wars has started filming. Well so has Man of Steel 2. Remember, they were filming during the halftime of a college game. Does it mean anything? No. Neither does the casting of Peter Mayhew. Yes Mayhew is back as the famous wookie Chewbacca. But honestly, anyone tall enough could have put on the costume. Blasphemy? I know, don’t hate me too much, but the actor didn’t make the character, the character made the actor. Without looking it up, what other films besides Star Wars has Peter Mayhew been in? Exactly. The only thing exciting is that they did tell us most of the cast is done. Which again we knew, they were just confirming it. BRING ON THE REAL ANNOUNCEMENTS!

Last but not least, the tease of Nathan Fillion has teased an appearance in Guardians of the Galaxy. Not a big surprise seeing as his connections with Joss Whedon, and director James Gunn. He was asked if he had wanted a part in the film, and his answer was “Wanting a part? Or maybe did?” he then continued “I’m just saying maybe…maybe there’ll be a surprise… maybe check the credits of the movie when you watch it.” What does this mean? Does this mean a fun post credit scene where Nathan sells Star Lord a pack of gum? Or are fan boys finally getting what they want, and Nathan is about to join the Marvel Cinematic Universe? Guess we’ll have to wait until August 1st to find out.