Fantastic Four

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Let’s preference this by saying I was excited for this film. Regardless of all the bad press, and stories from the set. Despite the press and their hatred for it, I was giving it the benefit of the doubt. Everything about it, screams amazing. Josh Trank the director of Chronicle. Written by Simon Kinberg, the writer of X-Men Days of Future Past. The amazing talents that are Miles Teller, Kate Mara, Michael B. Jordan, Jaime Bell, and Toby Kebbell. It screams awesome. Well. It wasn’t.

Fantastic Four tells the story, somewhat, of 5 kids whose lives are all change once they help crack the code of inter-dimensional travel. Well that’s about it for the plot. The film is not the pile of shit you are hearing about. For the most part. In this golden age of comic book movies, this one kind of takes todays Dark Knight Tone, and makes a movie with it from back in the late 90s/early 2000s. There is no character development whatsoever for any character in this movie. Plus the chemistry is all but nonexistent between these four. The story is jumbled, and the editing is all over the place.

Not to mention, nothing happens in this movie. Aside from one extra action scene, you have seen every single action scene in the film, in its trailers. So don’t expect a lot more. Plus don’t expect to see a lot of the cool scenes you saw in the trailers. They aren’t there. Like the scene of The Thing being dropped out of a plane into what looks like a warzone. Not in the movie. Now the film can almost be broken into 3 completely separate films. So I’m going to talk about the three acts separately.

Act 1 brings our heroes, and villain, together. They learn from each other and build this crazy machine that somehow Reed Richards (Teller) figured out how to do as a child, but the government could never do without him. It has a working montage and is your basic origin story, but it’s kind of interesting. It has its choppy weak dialog, and bad editing, but for the most part keeps you intrigued on where it will be going. Immediately you pick up Why Victor Von Doom is the bad guy. Because he is a dick. So that equals bad guy. Lazy writing. Plus that whole “you created me I created you” story of let’s make all the heroes and bad guys have a background together. I’m starting to hate that.

Act two kind of becomes the horror/sci-fi epic you want. For a split second. Then have a lot of plot holes that make no sense. You time jump, you wondering what the hell happened to certain characters, and then they are all brought back together and don’t like each other. Same old crap you’ve seen before. The idea behind this story is very fun, and you want to watch it, but the execution is not its best. It’s very basic. After some pretty cool sequences we are violently thrust into the third act. This is where it really gets bad.

Act three is simple formulaic let’s have a big showdown. Care about people, we are a team now. Movies over. That’s it. Nothing happens. You aren’t invested in it, it’s a big cgi green screen scene that makes no sense, with Dr. Doom showing back up, and having a motive that also makes no damn sense. It’s a complete and utter mess at this point. What started as an ok attempt, and took you on a roller coaster of good and bad story telling flies off the rails and kills you.

If you take out the Fantastic Four, and make this some random sci-fi film, it’s pretty decent. You can really enjoy it. But because we have been given the level of superhero films that we have, this one falls incredibly short. It is not the worst one you have ever seen, but it is closer to the bottom then it is the top. And not only does Thing not have pants, he has a butt crack. That makes no sense. At all. It’s really weird! Anyway, I’m giving it a Jeebus Score of 2.5. Not the best way to end the summer, go see Rogue Nation guys.

Alright Jackass Nation. What say you, have you seen Fantastic Four, will you see it? Let me know what you think of it, sound off in the comments below, and as always, keep on nerding!

The Jeebus Score explained

The Jeebus score is out of a possible 6 points. Films are giving a max of 1 point each for Acting, Entertainment, and Casting, and a max of .5 for Dialog, Cinematography, and Direction. There is also a possible bonus up to .5. Any film between 2.5 and 4 is considered a good film. 4-5 is a great film. Anything over 5 is an incredibly amazing film. To get a perfect score of 6 a film will pretty much have to be The Empire Strikes Back or The Godfather.

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SAN DIEGO COMIC CON!!!!!

What began in 1970 as a couple of guys sitting around talking about their comic books has now grown into a multimillion dollar convention. Where people from around the world all travel to San Diego California for 4 days to get the latest in movies, television, games, toys, and of Corse, comics. San Diego Comic Con has once again come and gone. I am beaten, I am broken, but I will give you my thoughts on everything major that came out the past 4 days. I’ve included links to the panels for anyone that wants to watch themselves, curtesy of Youtube.com/SchmoesKnow

Now the only panels I got to really go to personally was the Screen Junkies Honest Trailer/Movie Fights Panel. One of my main highlights of the entire Con. I had so much fun with it. They should be posting it up on their YouTube channel later this week. I also attended the panel Movies That Never Got Made which focused mostly on Jon Schnepp’s documentary The Death of Superman Lives: What Happened? A film that I have been very excited for and I will be reviewing it as soon as I sit down and watch the entire Blu Ray. Including the 10 hours of bonus footage.

I spent my time for the most part wondering back and forth from outside Hall H to the Omni Hotel Lobby where there was free Wi-Fi. Between these points I came across all sorts of content. The Heroes Reborn Trailer, which looks interesting enough. I’ve never seen the original series, every time I tried to watch I never got through more than 3 episodes for one reason or another. But I definitely will give this a look. Blindspot the new NBC show starring Jaime Alexander looks to have a few episodes then be cancelled. I don’t see how it can really last long. It looks dull to me honestly. And for no reason in particular. It just feels like this is one of those shows that will sizzle out and be cancelled within the first episode, which is sad because I really like Jaime Alexander.

So Hall H began With The Hunger Games: MockingJay Part II. The panel was moderated by none other than Conan O’Brien. He did a great job being able to mix his comedy in with the cast and keep the panel rolling soothingly. These guys have such great chemistry together. On and off the screen. It is so fun to see them interact with each, and you truly feel the emotion and love they have for these films. They played a new trailer for the film which has yet to be released online. But from the sounds of it was action packed and showcased the true feel of the movie. Jennifer Laurence is an amazing person. She has the complete blend of intelligence, beauty, and class, all while being a complete ditz. She’s like a starburst, a complete contradiction. You hear her and think she’s ditzy until she turns the charm on and says something that completely blows your mind. She truly is the whole package, and true genuine person. You can catch the entire panel right here.

Fox truly brought the house down when they took the stage. They opened up with The Maze Runner followed by Victor Frankenstein. Where they each brought out the cast and spoke about the films, showing the new trailers for each. But honestly these were just the preshow for Fox. They then gave you Fantastic Four as an appetizer. But they finally brought the house down when Ryan Reynolds, not is costume oddly, came out on stage and introduced the raunchy, dirty, R rated panel for Dead pool! Which you can see here. As you see it was fun, it was amped up. The crowd was crazy hyped for it. I got a chance to see the footage they showed, and let me tell you, it was awesome. The bulk of it was the live action version of the leaked test footage from a year ago, with a lot of action set to DMX’s X Gone Give It to Ya. You’d think this was the main event, but they didn’t stop there.

Out came the cast of X-Men Apocalypse. Another amazing panel with amazing footage. After the footage Hugh Jackman all but confirmed that The Wolverine 3 would in fact be Old Man Logan. Which we can all agree, will be epic! Now the footage was very basic due to the fact they are so early in the production process. But we see Jean, and Jubilee, and quick sight of Cyclops. You get glimpses of Apocalypse all throughout it. But then, to close out the footage, Magneto stares at the screen and asks “Who the F*** are you?” and boom, we get it, Apocalypse in full garb. And he looks amazing. And if that wasn’t enough, they walk Channing Tatum, Gambit himself, to be included in their epic X-Men Selfie. This panel was so fun, and so exciting, and I cannot wait for the film! These panels were just so much fun, and the excitement they all show about the films makes me even more excited for them.

Next up we had the much anticipated Star Wars Panel. So much excitement, would we get the official announcement of Collin Trevorrow directing Episode IX? What about the Anthology films? Well we didn’t really get much of that all. Instead, we got Harrison Freaking Ford! That’s right ladies and gentlemen; Han Solo himself was in the house.  This was so awesome. Seeing the big 3 on stage at Comic Con is amazing. Plus added in the entire cast of Episode VII, get out bro! It was amazing! And I think bringing Harrison Ford out was there way to please the fans for not bringing any new footage or announcements. We got some behind the scenes footage, but nothing really new. But JJ brought out some of their practical effects creatures, and it was just incredible all the insight they brought with them. You can really tell this cast is passionate, and fans of the material. After the panel they took the fans outside and had an amazing Star Wars concert where every member of the audience was given a Light Saber!

WB/DC is going to be my vote for the Winner of Comic Con though. Starting with The Man from U.N.C.L.E. and then going into PAN They hit the ground running. But the meat of the morning was Suicide Squad and Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice. Suicide Squad kicked it off with some incredible footage that can now be seen right here. Next up they brought out the entire cast of BvS for their Panel, and these guys are so into it makes me ready for it! For quite a while now Captain America: Civil War has been my most anticipated for 2016, this panel, and this trailer, are giving Marvel and Civil War a run for their money.

All and all Comic Con was freaking amazing guys. If I had to Jeebus Score it, I’d go 5.5 with the full bonus of .5 for EVERYTHING, giving San Diego Comic Con the first ever perfect 6.0 Jeebus Score! An amazing time, and I look forward to going to it again next year! Make sure to check out all the Comic Con coverage at Cinelinx.Com! And all always Jackass Nation, Keep on Nerding!

San Diego Comic Con Day 3

Ok, so major news Saturday out of Comic Con, I know I am two days late, but there was a lot to talk about. So without any further au due, let’s get into it.

DC opened up with nothing but Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice. No rumored Shazaam info, no rumored schedule. Just pictures, and footage. The footage which is unable to be seen by anyone not at Comic Con, which is crap. But, I have a slight description. The footage allegedly opened up in Gotham, Supes is hovering in the air then on comes the Bat Signal. He glances down and it reveals Batman on a rooftop. Batman’s eyes glow blue revealing him to be in his tech armor, very reminiscent of Frank Miller’s the Dark Knight Returns. Supes eyes glow red and he flares up toward Batman and the footage ends. The film seems to take a lot of its cues from the graphic novel, which I think is a great idea. If you’ve read the novel The Dark Knight Returns or seen the animated film, you know how detailed and incredible that story is. From the announcement of the film with the quote from the graphic novel to this test footage, it’s been pretty clear what direction they are taking it. I for one am still not 100% onboard. I think Bat-Fleck is the best thing going for the film but it has its issues. The casting of Mamoa as Aquaman, great casting, but putting Aquaman in the film, unnecessary. Same with Victor Stone, AKA Cyborg. And for Wonder Woman, the casting of Gal Godat is horrendous. They have finally released an image of her, and yes, the costume looks phenomenal. Yes she is very hot. But I don’t by her as Wonder Woman. Yes she was in the Iraqi army, she just too skinny. Not to mention, she is not an actress. She is a model who acts. If you didn’t care to have a trained actress play the most iconic female superhero ever, why would not just get Gina Carano? That’s just my 2 cents. Facebook-20140728-012253 Facebook-20140728-012328 Facebook-20140728-012357 Facebook-20140728-012414

Next up we had Legendary. Legendary had two pretty big major announcements. Godzilla 2 will include more of our favorite monsters. Mothra, Rodan, and King Gidorah, AKA Monster Zero. I was in the camp of the not so thrilled with Godzilla. I felt they needed much more Godzilla in the Godzilla film. However, with the introduction of these three iconic monsters, I am back on board. Will they let me down? That remains to be seen. I will say though, historically, sequels give you more of what you want. Batman Returns more Batman, Terminator 2, more Terminator. So I assume that Godzilla 2, will give us more Godzilla. On a possibly related note. Legendary and Universal will be teaming up to give us what a teaser called Skull Island. Skull Island the legendary home of the iconic King Kong. Rumor has it that the film will give us an origin of Kong. How he back King of this island and the islanders began to worship him. As well that it will be taking place within the Godzilla universe. If this is true, it makes me even more excited that we could get King Kong Vs Godzilla later on down the road!

Warner Brothers also released a trailer and new poster for Mad Max: Fury Road. The film looks fun, Tom Hardy plays the title character and is definitely a good successor for Mel Gibson. It looks action packed, it looks like them going back and taking their time really paid off for them. I cannot wait to see this film!

WB also aired the Pilots of both Flash and Gotham. While most people have already seen the Flash pilot, The Gotham pilot was aired for the first time. Reception seems to be pretty positive. It is said to be much grounded in reality. Not being a Superhero television show, but a cop drama. Even characters like Robin Taylor’s Oswald Cobblepot, and Corey Michael Smith’s Edward Nygma are believable. The Arrow panel seemed to be the most fun with them showing an extended trailer for season 3. Looks like we will be upping the action and drama. Ra’s Al Ghul will apparently be making his long anticipated debut. They spoke of the crossovers that will take place between Flash and Arrow. Most notably Felicity’s presence on both show. The Constantine panel answered a few questions and also showed an extended trailer. Needless to say, DC is on top of their TV game.

I don’t know if there was a full panel, or not but at some point this weekend this image of The Thing pre CGI from the Fantastic FOur reboot surfaced. Looks about the same as The Hulk from the Avenges. First bit of good news in a while coming out of this film. Facebook-20140728-012312

Finally, the bread and butter, the winner of Comic Con, in my opinion. All though they did not announce any of their untitled projects, Marvel did give us a lot. Evangeline Lily will be playing Hope Van Dyne, daughter of Michael Douglas’ Hank Pym. Will probably be Paul Rudd’s Scott Lang’s love interest. Corey Stoll will be replacing Patrick Wilson as Darren Cross AKA Yellowjacket. Plot seems to revolve around Pym and Cross being business partners. The Ying and Yang of the business. Cross seems to be the one who wants to take the company in an evil direction while Pym is out to help mankind. Seems as Pym will recruit Lang to take his place and become the Ant Man.

Marvel brought out the Avengers and they answered some fun questions. Hemsworth was asked where he would like them to take Thor, to which he replied “I’d like to see them turn him into a woman”. Ruffalo joked about how he used to be nobody now he walks down the street and has a name, everyone yells “Hi Hulk”. All he pieces of the puzzle have been released and they create an amazing picture of the Avengers all being over powered by Ultron Drones. Most notably The Vision appears in the background in the top left corner. Finally they showed some footage. Do you remember the photo released a about a week ago with the Avengers all hanging out in plain clothes in Avengers Tower? Well the apparently the footage opened up there will all the Avengers joking and hanging around trying to pick up Mjolnir. Stark can’t do it, not even with an Iron Man glove or help from Rhodey, Banner can’t move, then Cap steps up to the plate and it budges just a little and they all go nuts. That is until a ruffling is heard and out walks a damaged Iron Man suit, that begins to speak of the extinction of the human race, and that he is the Ultron. A montage of action footage rolls, including Black Widow in her new outfit, Banner in a strait jacket, tanks being thrown. The footage ends with the Avengers laid out in a desolate desert. The Hulk raging out, then in comes Iron Man, in the Hulk Buster gear. The two go at it and the footage ends. I don’t know about you, but just the mere thought of how this looked gives me Goosebumps. I am so excited for next year!

To end Marvels panel they brought out James Gunn who revealed that Guardians 2 is coming. Says a lot for the studio to green light the film before the first has even been released. Guardians of the Galaxy is my most anticipated film of the year and I cannot wait to see it this Thursday night!!!!

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