Dwayne Johnson

May be found at the following website: http://www.impawards.com/2015/san_andreas_ver4.html

San Andreas

It is time for everybody’s favorite action star to take on one of his biggest threats. You’ve seen him layeth the smacketh down on everyone from Stone Cold Steve Austin to John Cena. You saw him take on The Mummy as The Scorpion King. He wrangled up teeth as The Tooth Fairy, and got retaliation as a G.I. Joe. He was fast, he was furious. But now. Now he must take on an Earthquake. It’s The Rock vs Mother Nature, and a falls count anywhere match for box office. It is, San Andreas!

Great opening right? I know I loved it. So, San Andres is coming at us like a hurricane. You’ve seen it everywhere. Billboards, every other commercial, all over The Rock’s social media. The film is directed by Brad Peyton and stars The Rock, Alexandra Daddario, Carla Gugino, Ioan Gruffudd, Paul Giamatti, Art Parkinson, Hugo Johnstone-Burt, Will Yun Lee, Kylie Minogue, Arsenal err I mean Colton Haynes, and Todd Williams. The story follows a rescue-chopper pilot on his journey to save his daughter after a massive earthquake hits and threatens to knock California off the face of the planet, and destroy life as we know it. Sounds like your generic disaster film right? Wrong. Your generic disaster film does not have The People’s Champ.

San Andreas is a lot of fun. It definitely the disaster movie of all disaster movies. Think The Day After Tomorrow meets 2012 on crack, with The Rock. The movie runs almost like a freaking video game. When you follow The Rock on his journey, it’s like he has to go through levels. Fly a chopper, drive a truck, fly a plane, and drive a boat. It just gets more and crazier as the film goes. The story is it important? No. this is a cliché disaster film. It has its cheesy one liners, its crazy unsurvivable action, and its cliché coincidences. If this was made with any old action star, you wouldn’t care, but it’s the Rock. You get into it because you love to see him defy the odds.

Paul Giamatti is your typical disaster movie scientist that finds a way to track earthquakes moments before the super quake happens. Carla Gugino is sexy as always and amazing in the role. And the icing on the cake is Alexandra Daddario. This girl is so gorgeous and so stunning that when she is on screen you are immediately drawn to the character. Makes you want to leave the theater, go home, and watch her on True Detective. You know what I’m talking about.

This is not an Oscar winner folks. This film isn’t even remotely realistic. But honestly if that’s why you are going to San Andreas then you are a moron. It’s just fun to sit down and watch. It has its problems though. Like with most of the disaster film genre it tries to add too much character development. It tries to give you these heartfelt feel bad for me back stories, and in the end you just don’t care. You are there to see buildings fall. Let them fall. The script had a major flaw that did really bother me though. There is this one character that keeps escaping danger and he kind of the pseudo heel of the story. You are waiting for him to get it, and you just want The Rock to beat the snot out of him. Sadly, when he does bite it, it’s very anti climatic. And you are left thinking “well that was a pointless storyline.”

In the end, San Andreas is a fun action flick that if want to get away for a few hours, shove popcorn in your face, and turn off your brain, this is the place to go. It’s fun, exciting, action pact, and filled with really hot chicks. In the water. Yes folks, Alexandra Daddario swimming around in skimpy tight clothes. That’s your .5 bonus. Giving San Andreas a Jeebus score of 4.5.

The Jeebus Score explained

The Jeebus score is out of a possible 6 points. Films are giving a max of 1 point each for Acting, Entertainment, and Casting, and a max of .5 for Dialog, Cinematography, and Direction. There is also a possible bonus up to .5. Any film between 2.5 and 4 is considered a good film. 4-5 is a great film. Anything over 5 is an incredibly amazing film. To get a perfect score of 6 a film will pretty much have to be The Empire Strikes Back or The Godfather.


HERCULES! Starring Kellen Lutz, wait, scratch that, wrong film. Hercules! Starring The Rock! That’s better. Hercules tells the story of the Son of Zeus, as told in the graphic novel Hercules: The Thracian Wars. The film is the second film based on Hercules this year, and all though I haven’t seen The Legend of Hercules, I had high hopes that this film would be better than I was told Legend was. Hercules is Directed by everybody’s favorite X-Men ruining director Brett Ratner, now hold on, he did the Rush Hour films, those were good. Ratner directs The Rock along with Ian McShane, Rufus Sewell, Joseph Fiennes, Peter Mullan, and John Hurt. So the questions remains, does The Rock’s bring Hercules to life? Or is Ratner’s film a Greek tragedy? Well……

It’s a Brett Ratner film……

That sums up the most of it. That sums up the most of it. The Film follows Hercules (Rock), the alleged son of Zeus, and his band of mercenaries. Hercules has a troubled past, yet is good at heart. His services are hired to over throw a tyrant who is taking the land one city at a time. As Hercules and his crew fight a war that is not theirs, they slowly realize they may not be in a war that believed they were.

The story in my mind is rather weak. I wanted a true Hercules story. I wanted the son of Zeus. This version of Hercules is more of a maybe he is, maybe he isn’t story. Are the legends true? Is he a mere mortal? We’ll just leave that up to you. Thanks Ratner.

Hercules starts out, I will say terribly. The opening scene is literally a remake of the opening scene of The Scorpion King. I was immediately worried about what I was watching. However, as the film progresses, despite its flaws, it actually becomes fun. It just takes a minute to get there. Eventually though, it’s a fun popcorn film. I found myself sitting back and no longer worrying about the terrible dialog or horrible direction, and I just began to enjoy the craziness.

Like I said the dialog is horrendous. I mean I didn’t expect the 300 dialect, but at least try a little. This is ancient Greece, there shouldn’t be todays slang. As well you a very aware you are watching a cheesy Ratner film. Puns, crappy jokes, terrible story. There’s also the very cliché “Haha I’m the bad guy out of nowhere, and I’m bad because I’m bad” villain moment that takes you out of the film. Luckily Rock is able to pull you back.

The casting is pretty decent. Rock is The Rock. John Hurt is great as City’s, King of Thrace. Rufus Sewell plays Hercules wise all-knowing companion, and is probably one the most entertaining characters in the film. There is also discount Lady Sif, played by discount Jaimie Alexander. Well I guess discount Xena played by discount Lucy Lawless is more appropriate. Either way Ingrid Bolso Berdal was in the film. I don’t really know who she is either, don’t worry.

In the end, Hercules is definitely more fun Transformers Age of Extinction was. Goes to show you can have a mindless movie that makes no sense but is at least still fun. I’m Giving Hercules a Jeebus Score of 3.1. Check out the Matinee.

San Diego Comic Con day 1 top news stories

So today was a little tid bit of information out today, let’s just dive into and start with the DreamWorks panel. They released their upcoming schedule and it looks like we got some decent films coming our way. They first showed a short teaser for a film called Home. The plot seems to center around an alien race who attempt to take refuge on earth while hiding from their mortal enemy and make earth their new home. While attempting to relocate the humans, a young girl escapes and is accompanied on the run by a banished member of the alien race named Oh. Next up is a film called B.O.O. the Bureau of Otherworldly Operations. B.O.O. seems to center around a government organization that employs ghost to protect humans from hauntings. Two of the newest agents uncover a plot to destroy the organization and it is up to them to save the day. Finally, we get a little bit on the movie of the Penguins of Madagascar! Out came Comic Con virgins John Malkovich, and Benedict Cumberbatch. Apparently the Hall couldn’t help but ask Cumberbatch about the Dr. Strange rumors. To which he only replied maybe he’d be playing Nurse Normal. Funny guy. The three films seem fun. Penguins more than the other two.

Paramount took the stage next and dropped some major bombs. To start they announced a 2nd SpongeBob movie. Followed by the Ninja Turtles panel where they played some footage and talked about the film. Nothing new here. I haven’t seen many of the newer trailers and I’m pretty excited for the film. Next up they debuted the Hot Tub Time Machine 2 trailer. Which I will try to post at the bottom, don’t really know how. But it wasn’t anything special. Liked the first one, and you can’t judge a book by its cover, or a film by its trailer. There are a few funny spots, the nerd song, and the final clip.

Next up, well, I’ll get to what’s next. First they finished the Paramount panel with Interstellar. Matthew McConaughey and Chris Nolan showed up to discuss the film! I am very excited for this one, sadly I don’t think we get to see the trailer just yet, but from what I’ve heard it’ll be great. But now, Finally, The Rock has showed up at Comic Con! The Rock came out to apparently a tremendous ovation. He invited everyone to s special screening of Hercules, to which he was greeted by chants of Rocky, no, wait, it was another word, SHAZAAM! I think this entire Shazaam talk is misdirection. I think he’s going to be Black Adam. You don’t get the Rock, the most electrifying man in sports or entertainment and only let him on the screen half the time.IMG_1297 Aliens-Search-For-a-Home-in-First-Trailer-For-DreamWorks-Animation-Comedy IMG_1290 IMG_1292 IMG_1296 www.indiewire.com_-600x421

All pictures credited to SchmoesKnow.com